Things I Have Learned in the Garden
01 Tuesday Nov 2011
Written by Nicole Rushin in Lucid Living, Personal Growth, Writing
Tags
defining your real work, finding joy in the everyday, frustrations of working from home, lessons learned from gardening, Nicole Rushin
Focusing on the Real Work.
I have a friend who has a headless statue of St. Francis in her garden.
He was eerily creepy to me when I occasionally fed her cats and watered the untamed herb containers on her deck.
He stared at me without eyes, beckoning to be understood or fixed somehow.
But she had no qualms about having a headless statue in her garden and gave no thought to the whereabouts of his missing head.
When I ran my garden center I had to constantly think. I had to analyze, count flats of pansies and know when the trucks were coming in.
I was the missing head of St. Francis counseled by my thoughts at all times.
What I wanted most at that time in my life, was not necessarily to reconnect with my heart, but to be okay with my dismemberment; to be okay with everything, my choices, my current place in life, with the way things were going, with the craziness and the business of my day.
When that chapter in my life closed I made the choice to work from home, which proved to be one of my most challenging lessons.
It was bigger than leaving my safe office job in 2005, bigger than setting up shop at my garden center, bigger than leaving my garden center behind.
The decision was easy, but doing it proved to be most challenging and unsettling.
There were days when I felt, once again, permanently decapitated and it is no wonder so many people give up and wander back to the walls of a safe job. It is no wonder the protestors at Occupy Wall Street demand jobs and better security. It is scary on the outside.
Working from home requires you to…
Start from scratch
To start from inspiration
To start from the fire in your belly
And it requires you to fail at least once a day
Some days it requires you to leave your head at the gate and feel your way with the nimble, but uncertain fingers of passion.
Some days your heart wanders lost in isolation and lack of feedback. We want to instinctively fix all of these things; I wanted desperately to fix them all.
Wendy Johnson talks about her headless Buddha in her book, Gardening at the Dragon’s Gate: At Work in the Wild and Cultivated World
She goes on to say, “It’s hard to offer incense day after day to a headless Buddha. It’s unsettling. But no re-capitation sticks, and the green Buddha is always headless again before very long. He stays put, his calm head resting in his lap, and tirelessly demonstrates the classic Zen admonition to ‘think non-thinking.’ Open your mind so wide it includes your thoughts…”
The lessons I think I have learned from working at home; I really learned them from life, in the garden, from having my hands in the dirt of my real work. But when I started out I had no idea what the real work was and I had no idea what questions to ask.
I mistakenly thought everything had to be fixed or figured out.
My real work is this -
As a writer I live, I notice and I share. My product (my writing) is a result of my life and of noticing.
If I don’t live, if I don’t notice; there is no product to share.
The real work for me is finding joy in everyday things, even if at first they are unsettling.
I offer them incense and open my mind so wide it includes my own thoughts. It allows me to feel whole again, to feel connected, clear and like a participant in my day.
This question might be unsettling and it might require you to leave your head at the gate for a while, but I ask you this,
‘What is your real work?’
For me, it is clearly finding joy in my everyday.
That is it. There is no re-capitation. This is all I ever have to do.
Simple? No way. It is the hardest choice I could have ever made.
Please join the conversation here or leave me a comment below. I would love to know what your real work is.
Do you want to start your day out with some joy? Sign up for my free posts and have them sent directly to your inbox before you even get out of bed. You can go ~here~ to sign up.
30 comments
November 1, 2011 at 5:35 PM
You say: “As a writer I live, I notice and I share. My product (my writing) is a result of my life and of noticing.”
Nail on the head as far as writing is concerned!
November 1, 2011 at 6:00 PM
It always feels good to hit the nail squarely on the head. I think this goes for all art, not just writing. Life is what inspires so we can’t get so caught up in other things, like the internet, that we forget to live.
November 2, 2011 at 7:05 AM
My Prime Directive has been achieved – to unleash the incarnated souls who are my daughter and son into this world. One is on her own feet and the son is practically there; just a few more milestones to go.
My work is querulous. I know it when i do it. My art is all soul-driven. I can’t do as much as I would like because I must leave my head at the gate for Right Now and throw myself into someone else’s destiny for 8 hours per day so that I may pay for my own way, in the style to which I have become accustomed.
Work is the underground river of my very surface-driven American existence.
Hey, let’s do a lunch!
November 2, 2011 at 9:46 AM
But is there an underlying element that drives your parenting and your art? What is the soul drive that you speak of? For me, I have a way of seeing the mundane and explaining it in a different way; a way that is a little more joyful.
Maybe we can talk about being headless and decapitated and being okay with it over lunch, as you say. I can only imagine that being a parent is the most decapitating feeling of them all. Being pulled on at all directions and just being okay with it all.
November 2, 2011 at 11:45 AM
There you go again my friend Nicole – allowing us to expand our minds and go deep into our hearts – this is what I SO LOVE about you….
so you ask the question…..”What is your real work?”
You know my real work is compassion and non-judgement……I use it selling my commercial playgrounds. I use it as I write to women on MakeGirlfriends.com and give them encouraging inspiring words and I use it in my daily life. The people I meet on the street everyday. The people that have families to feed and can’t figure out how they will feed them with the little money they have. The compassion for a woman that is trying so hard to make ends meet and wants a chance to make it……
Of course I do all of it in JOY and LOVE…..so maybe my word should be LOVE for without LOVE then we would not have compassion and non-judgement……
Can I have more then one word with the question of “what is my real work?”
In love and light,
Nancy
November 2, 2011 at 4:39 PM
Nancy, I did not know you sold commercial playgrounds? The secrets we keep are so interesting. I only know you from your work of makegirlfriends.com.
I have been contemplating this question, ‘What does my business look like?’ I pulled a card out of the Animal Deck and I drew the hummingbird. I have never drawn this card before so it spoke to me so loudly. The word for the hummingbird is Joy. And as I work on simplifying my business message and find ways to offer my writing to people with no agendas this spoke to me so clearly because I think I have a way of taking the mundane things we overlook and putting a new twist on them. A joyful twist. Maybe? I am opened for answers from where ever they come.
I definitely see compassion in your business model and what you represent. I think women, most of all, tend to feel disconnected, decapitated or just out of touch. We just want to feel okay in the midst of it all, but some people might feel guilty to have the walls crumbling around them and saying, ‘Hey, I feel great!’ But there is nothing wrong with this. I am sure you deal with this a lot.
Lots of love and light – Nicole~
November 2, 2011 at 12:09 PM
Hello Nicole:
Another great though provoking Post! Wow you have proven to me again & again your way with words…Because a) they so deeply resonate with me & b) Hours & days later I find your words still churning around in my heart & mind.
This article was such a great way to begin my Day!…My Life’s work is Just simply this, and that is to ‘LIVE OUT” my name
I have ALWAYS loved the meaning of my Name, which means ‘Gift’…I believe I am called to be a ‘Gift of Love poured & opened up to & for others’ ….I guess I even knew this as a toddler, EVEN before I knew the meaning of my name.
As you have said, It is EASY to Know our Calling & gifts,,,However it is another thing to LIVE them daily & consistently…I have gotten out of alignment with this many times in my life.
However these days I am endeavoring to LIVE this every day,,,with that in mind I recite this affirmation 50-100x daily
‘I am Matthew, Gift of God, Passionately & Freely poured out to & opened up by all those entering my life seeking Help & Abundance.’
Be Blessed
Matt Geib
November 2, 2011 at 4:29 PM
Matt, your such a friend and a gift. I always love seeing your comments. I have recently come to learn that our path and our destination does not matter. It is the ‘way’ we walk our path that matters. I am trying to find the right way to write about this, but maybe I do this in everything I write.
It is the way that you offer your gift to others that counts. It that ‘way’ that is your real work. We all get out of alignment now and then. I am guilty. I fail everyday but I get back up twice.
November 2, 2011 at 3:44 PM
Dear Nicole -
It takes courage to live headless for a while. At first, you fight it – and then settle in to lower expectations..
My closest friend died a couple of years ago. I thought I was over it.
It costs a fortune to park downtown in Chicago. I still have validated tickets to park in the building in which she lived.
It was the most convenient place to park yeterday when I was downtown.
I can’t park there yet. I paid for another garage. I can’t walk through her lobby. Can’t face the doormen I know so well from being there every day.
So, like you, I write. My best friend is the Internet. I coach people.
That’s my work now. I like it.
I am making new friends. Like you. You are one of my everyday joys.
One day, my car will be in her garage again.
There’s no rush.
November 2, 2011 at 4:22 PM
There is no rush, Corinne.
I do remember you writing about the anniversary of your friends death. I don’t know if it gets easier, just different, and maybe we do feel like we have to settle in order to move on.
I know grief is a different experience for everyone. You will be back in her garage when your heart says it is safe to park there. There is no re-capitation just an eventual feeling of being okay with it all.
No rush at all.
November 2, 2011 at 5:45 PM
Your line that our real work is to find joy in every day brought tears to my eyes. Really. The story about the headless statues was great. I was so agitated just thinking about it! I wanted to jump through the computer and right into those gardens to fix those darned statues. Ha. Not very enlightened.
I have some little tai chi figures on top of a bookcase in my living room. The hand broke off of one of them and I had it sitting at his feet for years, thinking I would glue it back on. Talk about procrastination! Then one day while dusting I saw that it wasn’t there anymore. Not on the floor, not anywhere. Gone. Now I can’t fix it. That bothered me so much that I had waited until it was too late. Now he will be handless forever. Your story helped me get a grip on this concept!
Great post.
November 3, 2011 at 10:12 AM
It is everybody’s journey to want to fix things. I think it is just our nature. But about your Tai Chi figure. I think if you would have fixed it the hand would have fallen off anyway. You just had to learn the stubborn way – through procrastination. Hmmm? Even our seemingly bad traits teach us things eventually. Joy is where its at for me. Finding joy in the mundane and looking at things a little differently. I don’t know, people say my writing bring them joy so I will keep doing what I do. If I can offer someone joy then that sounds like good work to me.
November 3, 2011 at 4:32 AM
You love what you do, have full passion for it, and therefore is no doubt the right choice to make for you. What you have is a priceless gift, something not many can boast of, and as you continue blessing others with it, you in turn will be blessed through your giving and expressing of your passions.
You are bold, adventurous, and truly an inspiration. I believe more and more people need to emulate your stand on how they want to lead their lives and not be bound by the false expectations of society.
Always a pleasure reading your posts, Nicole.
Titus
November 3, 2011 at 10:17 AM
Thank-you so much Titus for your kind comments. I wish more people could simply learn ‘right mentorship’ which is simply done by living and being an example. We do it by just living our lives the right way. Not by saying, ‘this is the right path or this is the wrong path,’ we do it by living our lives authentically and honestly and this inspires others to do the same. I have been trying to allow a way to write about this because so many people are caught in the guru and hero mentality. We need a new name for heroes.
November 3, 2011 at 11:23 PM
i have a St.francis in my garden, but he has a head. I actually went to Assissi, and saw his cathedral, awesome. frescoes by giotto.
my St.Francis is entwined with Moonflower, and the large fragrant nightblooming flowes wrapped themslves around him.
why didn’t the friend place a large pumkin satop his empty pedesatl?
or a gazing ball?sorry i don’t know how to do spellcheck, carol veliotis
November 4, 2011 at 6:21 PM
Carol, if I told you who the friend was you would totally understand. That would be the most amazing trip to see that. Maybe I can go one day.
November 4, 2011 at 6:44 PM
I empathize. To follow your bliss – which I initially learned from the all but headless Joseph Campbell – is at first a most difficult decision. Suddenly – the instant you take it – it’s easy, and then it reveals itself as both easy and difficult at the same time. Every day is about not chickening out. And for people behind you, you can give a warning: it annoys (many of) your ‘friends’.
November 4, 2011 at 9:49 PM
Joseph Campbell was a big influence for me. Follow your bliss. When your head is down and you are immersed in your work – this is when we are most connected and we hear the voice of our intuition whispering. It is finding the real work that is so hard for many people.
November 5, 2011 at 3:25 AM
Very inspiring post… working from start the fire in my belly – you hit me here! LOL
You clearly express what you thought and feel… keep it up!
November 5, 2011 at 8:55 PM
Yes, there is not always a clear defined plan of working from home. And for many, this is next to impossible to deal with. It is not only hard for day-dreamers, but it is hard for people use to logic and order in their lives. It is very jarring and it takes time to work into it all. You have to be willing to face the frustrations as they come up and move through them. And above all, to define what the fire in your belly is all about.
November 7, 2011 at 4:23 AM
The headless St. Francis is just a representation of something that made you realize to be contented with life. I really love to read your blog because its well written, well thought of and very inspiring. Keep it up Nicole.
Frank @ solar power for the home
November 8, 2011 at 11:39 AM
I really believe that the most important thing is just to love what you do. Thus you feel inspired and encouraged to experiment:)
November 8, 2011 at 12:41 PM
I totally agree with you Anna, but I think sometimes we can get distracted and convinced that our dream is something other than what it really is. I think the way many network marketers recruit is a good example of this. They sell people on the dream, a dream that is not really ours. They get them excited and enthused that they can make a lot of money, but the money is never the dream. I fell into this trap for a long time before I finally got down to what I really wanted to do with my life. If I left here today could I say I was really doing what I wanted to do? If you tell someone they should do exactly what they want to do with their life – it is a hard thing to get down to. Discovering ‘Your Real Work’ is harder than it seems, but in the end, it is so easy.
December 4, 2011 at 3:37 PM
Love the article.
The basis of my selected lifestyle has been Growing crops and businesses for the past 50 years.
For some reason the synergy between proper Garden (growing) and Businesses techniques is huge.
Can’t expect a bountiful harvest without a written plot plan, cash flow projection and budget, a time frame written to accomplish the step along the way.
AND most important your CROP must be attended to, regardless outside pressure.
Another example is the “quick crop”, for cash flow, and the Long term investment in a orchard or herd of livestock.
All aspects need to be included in your PLAN.
I know I will never quit Growing in either of my passions. Food and Business and without the rudiments learned in farming (gardening) the business ventures would have bee a “tougher row to hoe”
December 4, 2011 at 4:47 PM
Hi Chuck,
Thanks so much for stopping by my blog and commenting.
I sincerely believe that our lives feed our content and they also attract the right customers to our businesses. I tend to think of any business venture as creative and thus a space that needs inspiration to thrive. Inspiration comes from the moments in our lives that we notice and engage with. If you live gardening I am sure it will give you many ideas for your business. Not just for content ideas on your blog but for innovative ideas on how to make it thrive. Most importantly as we cast our seeds patience pays off. Things don’t always happen over night.
Here’s to learning many more things in the garden,
Nicole~
December 4, 2011 at 4:58 PM
Never could figure if it was the gardening and farming that gave the ideas or the business that made the growing more successful.
I doesn’t really matter, living the lifestyle has been a blessing and rewarding.
Thanks for your reply
March 9, 2012 at 2:00 AM
All I can think to say is… Amen!
March 9, 2012 at 1:59 AM
Oh my gosh! Love it!
March 9, 2012 at 7:47 AM
Hi Merry,
Wow, this was an old post. I actually need to go back and read it again. Was this the one about the headless St. Francis statue? I saw your recommendation from blog glue. Thanks for that. I enjoy getting to know the people who comment on my blog. I’ll have to check out your site.
Thanks,
Nicole~
March 9, 2012 at 1:52 PM
Yes Nicole, it is the one about the headless St. Francis statue. I love it!
I look forward to your checking out of my site and hope you enjoy it. In the meantime, thanks for the response. I feel excited about the opportunity to read more on your blog and hopefully chat with you more!
Thank you,
Merry