This ladybug sat on my laptop and listened while I wrote this post...
I have been on a search for a new word for mentor.
The old word and all of her sister synonyms are worn out. Words like guru, hero, guide, teacher, adviser…they don’t fit.
I questioned my dreams, kicked up the leaves, journaled and asked the ominous blue sky for some sort of answer.
But finally I just sat still and decided to listen.
I let the question go and let the answer come back to me.
In doing this I recognized the very trait I admire most in others; the ability to listen from the inside.
I came up with this line at the end of a journaling rampage;
“Be still, listen. The wind that moves the grass whispers from the inside.”
I also came to the realization that there are ‘Talkers’ and there are ‘Listeners.’
Talkers are not concerned about the packaging. They want the information and they devour it.
The ‘how to’ lists, ‘to do’ lists, plans and structured teaching style of a Talker does not get through to me.
Listeners are tactile experiencers so the packaging is as important as the information.
It is the difference between someone showing me the alphabet and another person singing the alphabet.
This realization came to me like I already knew the word I was looking for. The word for my mentors and heroes and for the people who travel before me doing the work. They are what I call ‘Listeners.’
A Listener lives to be inspired and to live an inspired life, but they have risen above merely listening.
So I ask myself, ‘What is the difference between someone who is merely listening and an actual Listener?’
When I am listening my hands are cupped to the voices outside of myself.
I am looking for outside affirmation that what I am doing is right.
I think I am seeking advice, but I am really seeking approval.
I try not to box myself in with titles, like poet, but the title of Listener would not be so bad. It whispers, it holds compassion, it feels breezy, but yet it makes the shake in my leaves go away. There is a stillness within it that I could spend the rest of my life trying to explain.
Listeners are guided by the wind inside
They do the work without questioning
They walk ahead of the crowd
They don’t care who is watching
They sit unmoved in the seat of their conviction
They put their heads down and create great things
They hear their own music
They hear the music of others
But they hear it all from the inside
Listeners inspire me with their stories and their ability to experience life with a tactile heart. They don’t point fingers and tell me how to do things, they simply offer their message through experience, what Gwen Bell refers to as Experience Telling.
Currently Wendy Johnson has me riveted with her book, Gardening at the Dragons Gate. Because she knows her real work, she puts her head down, does the work, notices and shares her experience. I am being educated all over again on Soil Ecology, Gardening and Jerusalem Beetles without even knowing it.
She is a Listener.
We learn from Listeners without feeling like we are being taught.
Do you know any of these people who teach without teaching?
People who can be still and listen?
People who know the whisper from the inside?
Who are some of the Listeners in your life?
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What a wonderful moment of serendipity–the ladybug. I find that “talkers” who’ve gone through a conversion to “listeners” are even more apt to find the serendipity in nature, and the nuance of the stories of others.
Lovely poem & reflection.
Or even better from listening to listener…
Inspirational!
Thanks Gabri. How many ‘Listeners’ do you know?
Dear Nicole -
A wonderful word.
I would add listeners who do not interrupt – and do not give advice.
We have our own answers.
Corinne Edwards recently posted..COUPLE OF TIPS FOR YOUR INTERVIEW – Media Coaching
And notice that Nancy claimed you as a Listener in her life. What an honor for you Corinne. There is really nothing worse than getting advice when it is not asked for.
I call this sacred listening, and I sometimes describe it (bluntly) as listening with your lips stuck together. I have gone through several sorts of trainings in which listening was a central component. Really listening. I learned so much and brought the practice into as much of my life as possible.
I am part of a study of good law teachers. When the researcher asked me about good techniques, I told him that the best class I ever taught was when I had laryngitis and couldn’t even squeak. That class changed the way I taught ever after!
Galen Pearl recently posted..Reflection on the Journey
Speaking of laryngitis; I went to a seminar – training last November and I got laryngitis. I was baffled because I knew it had to be emotional. It was so odd that I was struck down with this at that very time. I think now, looking back I was being told to just ‘listen’. So, I can relate and I bet that class did change you. Things always work out.
Oh the beautiful ACT of LISTENING my friend Nicole – I categorize listenining with observing….being still and allowing the inner whisper to happen. You learn so much more from observing than talking. I am fortunate to have many friends that are listeners. Corinne Edwards being one of them, Marci Calantionio being another and you too my friend being one.
To live in poetry and writing we must listen for our inspiration and then it comes….
In love and light,
Nancy
Nancy Shields recently posted..ONLY TIME CAN REVEAL IF IT’S REAL……
I don’t know Marci. I might have to look her up.
The inner whisper is sometimes the hardest thing to honor because logic speaks so loudly. My trait of being on the sidelines all of my life has finally paid off. For a long time I was told I should jump in and participate, but I was all along I just didn’t know it. You don’t have to be a crazed dancer to dance. Some of us are just better at writing the music. Don’t you think?
“He who guards his mouth and his tongue keeps himself from calamity”.
Reading your post reminded me of this Proverb from the Bible. Truly the “listeners” speak through their actions and character, practice wise discernment in their ways, and are often prudent in their decisions. We can all certainly learn from the “listeners” at how they embrace the experiences in life with deep thought and contemplation, and not merely allowing experiences to pass them by.
Its evident that “listeners” inspire you, as your writings do reflect the “listener” in you, Nicole.
Always a pleasure reading your work,
Titus
Titus recently posted..That Place
I love this quote you give from Proverbs.
The ‘listeners’ speak through their actions and character, practice wise discernment in their ways and are often prudent in their decisions.
I recently learned from a friend of mine, who is one of the most forgiving people I know, that not everybody has the trait of discernment. She said it was a trait she wished she had and that her ability to forgive people over and over again kept getting her hurt. I was perplexed but it taught me a lot about people who constantly get in the same situations repeatedly.
The meaning I attach to “Listeners” is passive. Like a radio-set with the sound muted. I see JS Bach listening to the spheres, but real happy I get about the fact that he wrote down what he heard.
Listening is vastly underrated. I recently was at a spiritual retreat. After each speaker – they were but a few – and after each substantial session – group discussions and such – all of the 200 participants were asked to remain silent for 10 minutes – to just listen to their own inner dialog. This was the first time in my life a seminar included quiet time to listen. Revolution! Talk about spiritual. It was genius. Loved it. I think everybody did.
Listening is being silent in an active way.
I listen, I hear that “listen” and “silent” use the same letters.
I listen and hear, as Gibran puts it, that the wind speaks not more sweetly to the giant oaks than to the least of all the blades of grass.
I speak too much. Time to, well, you know :-]
Beat Schindler recently posted..Six Ways To Free Health Care
That listening and silent practice at the retreat you went to sounds amazing. What a great idea. Not only for the people attending, but for the speakers as well. To not speak for applause but for the sake of the message and that really gave them the opportunity to get real feedback and answers.
I get the feeling you are a great Listener, Beat.
Active silence – I like the sound of that.
WOW Powerful Post Nicole:
I could not help but Think of Simon & Garfunkel’s old Tune ‘The Sounds of Silence’……When we can Really get in that mode & really as you so aptly write about ‘Hear’ we can receive Inspiration that can move worlds!
I for one, Feel like an outsider looking in on that world…I can Feel it & sense it…But I am a mere Babe in application.
Intuition, Feelings, Sensing, dreams instinct….These are all of that ‘world’ that you speak of & are so very much in tune with…I feel Honored to be a ‘Learner’ from you….I think I just need to get out of the way.
Thank You once again for touching my heart…I have much inner work to do !
Be Blessed
Matt
Mattgeib recently posted..The Six ‘We MUST Be’s’ From the Master Key
Maybe it is just a matter of honoring the fears and the walls instead of trying to immediately tear them down. These traits that you think might be holding you back might actually be your greatest asset. Kind of like, my being a daydreamer. For a long time I thought there was something wrong with me. It turned out I was following the wrong people. I was following ‘Talkers’ and thought I needed to be a talker. I had to honor my own story, my own special trait of being a daydreamer and had to learn to trust my inner voice. But nobody can do it the way I have done it. Every situation is different. You are, everyday, finding Matt’s way.
One thing that I know helped me was to sit down and make a list of ‘needs’ instead of ‘wants’ because all these things we want are just decorations for our basic needs. But simple questions seem to be the hardest to ask.
Namaste – Nicole~
This is a very inspirational post. I love reading it and i learned so much. Thanks for sharing wonderful messages.
gabby recently posted..Aquarama 2011 Arowana Competition Results
Thanks Gabby. I wonder who the Listeners are in your life?
“They put their heads down and create great things”
Wow. That’s probably the best way of ‘listening to’ that.
Love it! I believe that you have found the number one character trait of a great mentor… The Listener.
I am blessed to have a few of these people in my life that can just give me the space to speak, share, and hear myself in the process of it. Everyone has this ability to become a Listener.
Another word that comes to my as I share this is Receiver.
What is it going to take to be a Great Receiver for others in the world?
How does it get any better than this?
Edward recently posted..Knowledge Of Plenty And Master Of Nothing!
Hello Great Edward,
I am going so far as to say that a mentor is the ‘Listener.’ In seeking this sort of guidance I hope to eventual choose it for myself, to gain listener status.
The act of receiving is right on track with what I wrote about in ‘A Letter from a Cedar Waxwing.’ It was a post about the gift of receiving.
I really don’t know if it gets any better than this, Edward. Life just seems to be full of possibilities. I am currently asking myself, ‘Where do I grow from here?’
Nicole~
Nicole Rushin recently posted..A Letter from a Cedar Waxwing
i call this sacred listening, i`ve always thought that youcan learn so much more from observing than talking. take time to be still and smell the roses so to speak.
LOVED YOUR BLOGS, THEY HAVE INSPIRED ME GREATLY, THANKYOU…KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK
This is an amazing post. Thanks for the value Nicole.
Siddarth Rajsekar recently posted..50 Secrets To Living An Awesome Life
Hi Nicole,
It is a very inspirational post.Thanks for sharing your thought with us!
Pete Goumas recently posted..YourHCG Coupons – Review
Inspiring post… Sometimes it’s really important to listen than talk much… It somehow gives you more knowledge and understanding of a person or a situation. You are such a sweetheart Nicole… I love your write ups very inspiring.
Thanks MJ – too much talking and not enough listening makes for a dull conversation.